Saturday, January 03, 2009
This morning I was up early ( 3am ) I made my tea and sliced an apple and opened up the curtains so I could watch the light changing as the sun came up. Around 7am Jerry rolled out of bed and came over to ask me if I wanted to go visit with some friends this morning. I decided it might be nice. Boy am I glad he asked me to go do that today. Seeing old friends is so healing.
I'm so glad I got to see:
Valerie, Mindy, Rafe, Ron, George, Chris, Sue, Dave, David, Richard, James, Jill, oh my the list goes on and on! I felt so loved, and in love with all of them.
Sometimes I feel a bit like what that leaf looks like in that photo I posted. Alone. Then my mind attaches to that story and runs with it. I get hooked by what my mind is telling me, I believe it, and I chew on that story until I am deeply sad by how lonely I am. In the meantime I've taken no actions to change this thought or story. I call no one, I don't reach out to say hello, I don't leave the house all day - for days. I am unplugged and not in a very good way for me with the mind that loves to try to make me believe something that is more damaging then necessary. It's almost like I'm addicted to the thoughts that are harmful to me and love the taste of them. And I love to eat them over and over and over again, like a donut or candy bar that I know is only going to make me fat.
Then one day I get up and go out and see all of you lovely lovely people that I've known for about 3+ years now and I think - oh my god - I created the entire story and it's a lie. Gosh am I talented!
Now when I look at that photo I see a pretty leaf - it's blushing it's so pretty. It's not alone at all but a part of the rest of the universe which is air, water, ground, concrete, people walking by it, the tree it came from etc. No shortage of community when you take the time to connect with it!
Glad the husband asked if I wanted to see friends this morning. I didn't realize how much I NEEDED to see them.
Amazing how my life can change in an instant just by taking a different action, and allowing my thoughts to rest and just be in the moment.
enjoy the leaves on the ground and the friends around you.