5 months

ok so here is a peek at the belly and how it's growing! Crazy what a month can do! I'm in the bliss months of pregnancy. Although for me what I feel is normal instead of like a freight train ran over me. The first 3 months were not bad at all - I was just exhausted beyond anything I'd ever experienced before. I am enjoying this time in my life very much. No schedule but to tend to myself and the growing baby inside of me. To rest, relax, pamper, eat well, enjoy the peacefulness, and prepare what I can for the unknown. My nesting instinct has kicked in and I've been learning to bake and cook gluten free muffins, cake, lasagna, mexican hot dish, etc. That comes and goes the urge to cook and bake. Right now we are blessed with friends who dropped off a bunch of baby stuff. Makes it feel more real that a baby is on the way! Even though you can see by the belly that it's real! Somehow baby chairs, swings, mats, etc, in the living room make it feel like a home that has a baby instead of a home with just a cat. ( don't tell my cat I said it like that ). We are going on a babymoon to Maui. Can't wait to wear a bikini and show off the belly, and take photos with my pinhole camera at the same places that my honeymoon series was taken. I've been feeling the itch to create new work and have been gathering up polaroid film, and other such precious things to bring with us on our trip.

And here is a quote I found today on SuperHero Design's Blog. My favorite blog of all.

“This is the true joy in life, to be used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one, to be thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap. To be a force of nature instead of a feverish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am a member of a community and as a member it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can before I die. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch that I want to make burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” George Bernard Shaw

new series

I took this photo of myself a month ago when my belly was just starting to really look like there might be a baby in there.
When I look at this now it doesn't even compare to what my belly looks like now. People think I'm carrying twins! ( I'm not! Just one big baby! )

I took this photo in our bedroom. I felt it was a continuation from the newlywed bed series I was working on earlier before I got pregnant. Those photos were taken every morning of the bed after we got out of it in the morning. The bed took on a sculptural quality when all the photos were made into large contact sheets 17x22. The funny thing is, I had no idea I was actually documenting the bed during the time frame that I got pregnant! I love that this is documented. It goes with the honeymoon photos I took in hawaii - the long exposures of our "merging". So it felt right to take these pregnancy photos on the very bed where the baby was conceived. I love the out of focus painterly quality of this image. The quiet feel of it. I plan to take more of these out of focus portraits of myself. Not sure when. But consider this a new series to work on. It won't be as intensive as the tree series where I took a photo every month on the 18th day. But it will show the progression of the pregnancy in a dream like - soft and quiet way. When the belly gets bigger ( is that possible? ) I've asked Jerry to take out the 4x5 camera and take some black and white 4x5 images of my body. I look forward to that.
And in between - I'll be taking a new series of images in hawaii again - yes with the pinhole. But I'm also bringing the holga, and a polaroid camera with left over polaroid from my birthday party. Looking forward to looking.

***

Quote of the day
Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.
- Barack Obama

quote for the day - year -lifetime

I found this on Mary Catherine Hamelin's blog and thought it felt right for me and for you too.

I hope you agree.

I call this time in my life my radical sabbatical. I love the ease of my life right now and the absence of any amount of pressure that comes from some inner dialogue that tells me I'm needing to do more, make more, get more.
I have everything I need. The world is wide open. It's slow, relaxing, and stress free.

I'm reading a book called "Giving: How each of us can change the world" by Bill Clinton. It's inspiring and is the direction I am starting to make in my own life. Looking at where I can put my energies to help make a difference and help others. I think this slowing down period in my life has helped me to get more focused on what's important to me - how I want to spend my time - and BE in the world and in my life.

enjoy slowing down. It's a nice pace.

$$ cost of the war

click here to learn more

Imagine Wish Tower - Yoko Ono Project

I am so inspired by this project. I had to put this video up for you to see. Please watch this and share it with your loved ones.
Yoko Ono is amazing.

I took my mother to the wish trees in Pasadena yesterday and took a photo of her putting her wish on the tree. I will post that tomorrow. If you are in Pasadena - go see the trees. Add your wish. be a part of this project.

Imagine Peace

Wish trees by Yoko Ono in Pasadena!

Please go to this link to learn about "Imagine Peace Tower" and watch the video. It is SO POWERFUL.


The other day I was walking around Old Town Pasadena. I turned a corner and was stunned by what I found. A group of little trees covered in tags with wishes written on them. I had read about this art installation but had forgotten all about it.
Here is a little blurb about the installation I found online:

Wish Tree for Pasadena is an art installation that consists of 21 living crape myrtle trees installed amongst the café tables and chairs in the Courtyard of One Colorado. Visitors are invited to write their wishes on pieces of paper and hang them on the tree branches. Yoko Ono’s Wish Tree for Pasadena is free and open to the public.

Wishes from Wish Tree for Pasadena will be joined with others from all over the world and placed in specially constructed capsules to be installed in the area surrounding Yoko Ono’s Imagine Peace Tower on Videy Island, off the coast of Reykjavík, Iceland. The artwork is dedicated to the memory of John Lennon. The tower, a column of light emanating from a stone base with a radius of about 10 meters, is lit for two months each year starting on October 9, John Lennon’s birthday, and ending on December 9, the anniversary of his death. The artwork is also lit at certain other special times during the year. For more information, visit www.imaginepeace.com

If you get a chance and are in the area here is a link for more info:

http://www.onecolorado.com/fun_yokoono.php


I had the pleasure of writing out a wish of my own. These photos were taken with my iphone. I know my wish is going to come true. But it is stunning to me that all of these wishes will be re-located to a peace tower in Iceland in memory if John Lennon.

We can all use a dose of his vision for peace right about now!

May all of your wishes come true!

YES WE CAN!

our 1 year anniversary!

CLICK HERE TO WATCH A MINI MOVIE OF OUR WEDDING by MODERN 8 FILMS!!

Yay! it's our one year anniversary! I can't believe how fast time is flying by with the love of my life! We are having a wonderful life together. I'm so grateful to have met Jerry and to explore life with him. Our wedding was a big gathering of friends and relatives to celebrate our merging and it was a glorious weekend event! Thanks to so many people who helped us create it! There is no way it could have been possible without their help!
Here is a mini list of gratitude to all the people who helped us create a beautiful wedding:
1. My parents of course!
2. Jerry's parents of course!
3. Alison Rudrud - only the BEST coordinator on the planet.
4. Yvette Roman and Suzi Varin
5. modern 8 Films - ok people - this was the best last minute addition to our wedding. So talented. So much fun. and they put a photo of jerry on the cover of their website ! Go look!
6.La Costa Resort and Spa!
7. Amy and Joanne, Sean and Sean the bridal party and helpful through out the planning! believe you me, I needed it!
8. Nicole Degraaf - best cat sitter ever! Pretty girl thanks you!
9. The Vintage Photobooth - super cool and fun!
10. All of our friends and family that made the trek out to San Diego that weekend! Thank you for being there to help us celebrate. It was so great to have you all there. I was very touched by all the love and support you gave to us!!

Of course this is a MINI LIST. there are so many others.....!!!

And on the top of this list of course is my beautiful husband Jerry!!!!!

hey - here is a link to his fabulous website! He is so talented. He inspires me in so many ways. In photography, in the way I treat others, in the way I look at work, and in the way I express love. He is a great example of all of these things. He is my best friend and soon we will be venturing into parenthood! Today is the 20th week of my pregnancy - we are half way there! What a gift.

And what a fantastic first year!

Thank you Jerry.
I am honored to be your wife.

You are my sunshine. My only sunshine. you make me happyyyyyyyyyyyy when skies are gray. you'll never know dear, how much I love you.....let's go to MAUI! ( 15 days and counting! )

Sean Meszaros has a blog worth checking out!

"Dad Wanted To Fly" © Sean Meszaros

One of the most talented photographers I know. Sean Meszaros just started a blog called lowryandcentral.

Go check it out. Daily.

New work by a talented photographer!

Photo ©Jerry Seiner 2008

yes - My husband Jerry created that image above. It's for a Project he worked on for Trade and Row. They are curators who are doing lots of work these days with artists around voting, registering, politics, etc.

Here is a link to see more of what Jerry's Project is about

http://www.tradeandrow.org/campaigntrail/ballotinitiative/

Check it out and then send it to all of your friends - or people you know who still need to register! Get the word out! It's important. I'm thrilled that Jerry was a part of this project! The image is beautiful if you ask me!

harvest

On Jerry's Birthday we went out to the backyard and picked as many pomegranates as we could reach. There were so many of them on the bottom branches that we filled up 3 trader joes bags full of them. We gave one bag to our neighbor, another went to Jerry's work and another ended up filling a bowl on the dining room table. I love how they look and taste. Our Friend Brandon suggested to us that we plant more fruit baring trees. I'm thinking lemon trees might be in our future. Oh how I love a tall glass of ice water with a slice of lemon.
enjoy the fruits of your labor, or the fruits in your backyard, or the fruits in your fruit bowl....Especially the ones you pick yourself.

10 days

Today is October 3rd and in 10 days Jerry and I will celebrate our 1 year anniversary.
My head is in the clouds because we went to hawaii for our honeymoon and we are going back again this year to celebrate our baby coming ( babymoon! ) and our first year of marriage. We took these photos on our honeymoon. The one of the two of us was taken on a sailboat where we went out to a small island and had dolphins swimming along side the boat with us. It was amazing. The beach shot was taken at Napili Bay which is our favorite beach spot. We've been there 2 years on a row. The turtles peek their heads up out of the ocean for air and I just love watching them. We go to Maui at the end of this month. Both of us are dreaming of turtles, the beaches, listening to the ocean, laying on rafts in the water, snorkeling, eating papaya every morning, the list goes on and on. This year I get to show off the baby belly and I need to go buy a two piece that fits! I tried on the honeymoon bathing suits and um NO. I may start my hunt for the bathing suit today so I have some time to find it!
I'm bringing my pinhole camera and will start a new series of photos for the babymoon, that will be along similar lines of the honeymoon photos - only less about consumation of marriage ( done that ) - and more about the transition into parenthood ( doing that ) I'm looking forward to breaking out the camera again after it sitting on the fireplace mantel for almost a full year. It's strange how things have changed for me with my work. I no longer feel a frantic need to make several series of work and have a bunch of shows and get the work out there. It feels more like water. It's just flowing the way it needs to and I don't need to push it. It is happening and it is a wonderful feeling to let it go and have it not be the way I value myself or get my worth from.

List of things I love:

1. Jerry of course!
2. our sweet little baby boy.
3. living a slower paced life and lifestyle
4. listening to the birds outside while sitting on the porch with my cat pretty girl.
5. listening to my cat purr by my head when we are getting ready for sleep.
6. watching Jerry dance around the house.
7. being married to Jerry!
8. our wonderful - warm - cozy - beautiful home.
9. baking things that make jerry smile from ear to ear!
10. talking with amy.
11. Friendships where I feel like I can be myself and they can too.
12. checking in with other friends by reading their blogs. Helps me stay connected.
13. avocados
14. Papaya.
15. Listening to the ocean.
16. feeling a light wind.
17. sunny days that are cool and crisp and I need to layer and wear my boots.
18. the leaves turning in Minneapolis.
19. Hawaii!
20. traveling anywhere with jerry.
21. the hand / eye / heart connection when I take photographs and feel it.
22. Learning new things.
23. taking classes
24. Loving.
25. e-mail!
26. internet.
27. being barefoot on our hardwood buttery floor.
28. My friend Joanne that I've known since Junior High!
29. Having A friend from High school live in the same area of LA.
30. Mexican Food. Cheese enchiladas specifically!
31. Water with ice and a slice of lemon in it.
32. cooking for friends
33. having tea with my friend Christina.
34. taking a walk.
35. Living in a quiet neighborhood.
36. Fall.
37. October.
38. Jeans.
39. photobooths.
40. lists!

I could go on and on.
Have a fabulous day filled with lots of things you love doing, seeing, and creating.

iphone photo at the ultrasound

yep that was yesterday - having the ultrasound done. Finding out that there is a little boy in there. What an amazing moment for Jerry and me. We loved the Doctor that gave the ultrasound. He was funny and had a big heart. I could tell the moment he walked into the room. It was so fun to go. It took about 20 minutes. But it changed the way we think about the little bean already!

thought for the day: ( sent to me by my father earlier this week )

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.


P.S. And, remember...
If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

***

This was a great little love note to get. I do happen to spend more time in my head trying to work things out - and I worry about things I cannot control. One of those things happens to be our little babies health. Am I eating the right foods? Am I resting enough? Am I too old for this? Blah blah blah blah blah! How the heck can I know all of this? I have to let it go and trust that it is all going to work out the way it is suppose to and just do my best. No sense in wasting precious time in my life focused on things that are not mine to figure out. I need to step back, take a deep breath, and enjoy the moments I have and focus on gratitude and love. Not on changing others, fear, worry, or trying to distract myself with meaningless time wasting activities.
I've been noticing that I have HUGE boundary issues with people who don't have any. I am very sensitive about this. I'm learning to let go of how other people behave and set my own boundaries and let go of how I think or know they will react to them. Another reason my dad's little e-mail was very important to get. I need to remember that I can just relax and enjoy my day today. God's taking care of the rest.

I don't really know who or what God is - but I do believe that there is something bigger then me out there and in here - and that is enough to keep practicing letting go. Sometimes I think of LOVE as GOD. And that helps me too.

***

I'm grateful to my dad for sending me that e-mail.

I hope some day to pass it on to my son when he needs it.

Oh my GOD I'm having a BABY!!!!!!!!

YAY YAY YAY!!!!!!!!